Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) Page 5

  Baylee tried to work with her clients so that even if they no longer wanted the marriage, they could work with the other party on the best possible parenting plan.

  In her experience, it rarely worked out that way. The couples would start out fighting tooth and nail for custody and visitation. Of course, child support was a big factor.

  Baylee watched a tired little girl cry for her daddy to pick her up. He bent down and whispered something to her then lifted her up on his shoulders. A twinge of regret hit her. Instinctively she knew Grant would be a really great father and that his family would provide all a child could want, like grandparents, uncles and aunts, cousins. She smiled picturing it.

  The smile quickly turned into a frown. Where had that come from? She didn’t want Grant in the picture for anything more than a sperm donor. Again she reflected back on the proposition she’d made. There certainly wasn’t anything in it for him. She’d convinced herself that the clinical process of artificial insemination would take any emotion out of the process, so she hadn’t given much thought to how Grant would react. And, she had to admit, Anna and her friend had also desensitized her somewhat.

  She’d been looking into going the AI route when Anna had come to her to draw up paperwork for a surrogate mother. Anna couldn’t have children, and both she and her husband desperately wanted a child. Anna’s friend, who was married and had two children, volunteered to act as surrogate for the couple.

  Seeing the way the two couples worked together, Baylee had started to think about asking Grant instead of using an anonymous donor. However, if she had been thinking, she would have realized that a man or woman would have to care deeply for someone before they’d give a gift like Anna’s friend had given.

  Grant didn’t know her from Adam, well, in her case, Eve, and he for sure wouldn’t be granting her a gift of any kind. So what now? The sperm bank would work. She didn’t need to go back to Montana. She could do it here in San Francisco.

  It wasn’t what she wanted, but maybe it would be the better option. Grant had made some good points. With a sperm bank, there wouldn’t be a chance of any strings being attached, emotional or otherwise.

  The afternoon hadn’t rejuvenated her like it usually did, and by the time Baylee pulled into her garage, she was feeling an overwhelming sense of depression. It wasn’t something she was used to. Up to now, the things she wanted she could get for herself. Maybe she had to work harder or longer, but in the end she always accomplished what she set out to do. She also didn’t have mood swings, and if her life seemed to be coming unstrung now, how much worse would it be if she had to take fertility drugs to get pregnant.

  Baylee headed for her office but changed her mind. Work wasn’t the answer. For the first time in a long time, she wished she had a best friend or that she had a closer relationship with her mother. It would feel so good to have someone to talk all this out with.

  So what now? Maybe a hot shower and a good book? Tomorrow, everything would look better. It always did in the daytime.

  * * * *

  Okay, Baylee reluctantly acknowledged that sleep wasn’t going to happen any time soon. She had read until she could barely keep her eyes open. With expectations of a good night’s sleep she had turned off the light, and immediately sleep flew out the window. Now, three hours later, her bed was a disaster area, and sleep was as elusive as the Loch Ness monster.

  Darn, tomorrow would be a busy day. Mondays meant court, and she had both a morning and afternoon session. Laying here did her no good. With a sigh, she got up and pulled on a pair of sweats. She’d get a few hours of work in and then come back up to the apartment and dress for the day.

  Her office looked gloomy. Even the steaming mocha that she made didn’t help. Again, the persistent feeling that something was missing enveloped her.

  Thoughts of Grant roared through her mind until she could almost feel the heat of their kiss. She’d been so sure he would come to her that night. She had waited for him until the first rays of dawn broke.

  Silly me! That kiss probably didn’t mean a thing to him. I need to get a life. What kind of mother am I going to be with this kind of naïveté?

  Baylee had never given her lack of experience much thought. Growing up, her mother had one man after another parade through their lives. Not wanting that kind of life for herself, she had vowed not to be dependent on any man and had purposely closed her eyes to anything but her work.

  Why was she even thinking of the man now? He’d no doubt forgotten all about her or worse found it all amusing.

  Her face grew warm at the thought of Grant entertaining his friends and family with the story of how she propositioned him. Thrusting the thought away, she turned to the computer to get e-mail. Twenty-eight messages since she’d last checked the queue. No doubt junk mail, they wouldn’t be work related on a Sunday.

  Click, delete... click, delete. She barely registered the messages as she cleaned them out. When she got to the next to the last one, her finger froze over the delete key. GBlackhawk Re: Checking in.

  Baylee stared at the entry. She started to open it and then hesitated. Reaching for her mocha, she took a sip and leaned back in her chair. What would the post say? Was it possible he’d been thinking about her as much as she’d been about him?

  As quickly as the thought entered her head, she rejected it. For one thing, he probably had a social life that didn’t leave him time to think about a woman who only wanted his sperm.

  Chapter 7

  Baylee read Grant’s post for the third time. He had written, I can’t stop thinking about where we might have taken it. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about their kiss, either. So, what to do next? Should she say anything more on that subject or get into a more neutral subject? Stalling, she walked back to her apartment, made herself another mocha, and picked up the morning paper. It was only five a.m. She still had plenty of time before the day officially started.

  A few minutes later, she was back staring at Grant’s e-mail message. Finally, she clicked on the reply button.

  Hi to you, too. I can’t begin to tell you how I felt getting your e-mail. And how much I appreciate your honesty. I wish I’d have approached the SUBJECT differently. Under different circumstances, we might even have become friends.

  Have a good day.

  Later, Baylee

  She read the short message through and hit send. Then with a sigh, she went into her send folder and pulled it back up. Had she ended it too formally? Would he respond, or had that ended it for them? Mentally, she shook herself. Let it go. For better or worse, the e-mail is on its way. Now live with it and move on.

  Ignoring the newspaper, she reluctantly picked up the folder for the day’s court cases.

  Looking over the case files, Baylee let the time get away and was surprised when she heard Jeffrey, her law partner, enter his office. She called out a good morning and headed up to her apartment to dress for the day.

  Baylee wasn’t into fashion for fashion’s sake. Her choice for the day was a tailored beige suit with a dark-brown mock turtleneck shell that gave her a professional, no-nonsense look. She added petrified wood earrings and a matching ring to complete the outfit. Satisfied with what the mirror told her, she headed back to work.

  Thoughts of Grant and the e-mail she’d sent him again intruded on her workday persona as she reentered the office area. Again, she worried that she’d been too formal, too detached sounding. The coffee in the small kitchenette gave off a welcome aroma. That, coupled with the sweet smell of the donuts Jeffrey was busy opening, added some cheer to the morning.

  Jeffrey poured a cup of coffee and handed it to her. “Have a donut. You can use some fattening up.”

  “You think? And where’s your politically correct wording? You don’t tell a woman she’s skinny.”

  He grinned over at her. “Is that what I said? And, politically correct is for people who haven’t known one another since college.” He winked at her. “Furthermore, since when does
an old retired police detective know anything about being politically correct?”

  Baylee nodded and bit into a heavenly taste. Jeffrey was almost twenty years her senior. The legal field was his second career. She had met him at college and respected and admired him and his family.

  “How did the weekend go? Did Tracy take the girls over to Sacramento to visit her parents?”

  “Yes, and I had a bunch of things on my honey-do list, but as usual I procrastinated the time away. I don’t do well on my own, I guess.”

  Baylee wiped the sticky icing off her mouth. “You need some down time. We both work too hard.”

  “You’re right. I spent some time laying out a revised business plan.” His voice took on the serious no-nonsense tone. “We can’t keep going on this way. Either we need to start turning down clients, or we need to hire more staff.”

  “I know, and I promised that we’d talk it out and make some decisions when I got back from Montana.

  They were horribly understaffed. She knew that she needed to work with Jeffrey on managing the practice if she ever intended to have a life outside of work. “Okay, let’s see how much we can get done this morning. I don’t have to be in court until 10:00 a.m. How about you?”

  “The same time, but we can at least get a start.”

  Baylee followed Jeffrey back to his office, but not without casting a longing glance toward her office and computer. Had Grant sent her another post? She felt excitement at the thought and pushed it down.

  Baylee shuffled through the printouts. Jeffrey had done a good job of organizing where the practice stood and where he thought it could go. He’d pulled up financials, workloads, and staff experience. Baylee was impressed and told him so. “Maybe I should bribe Tracy to take off for another weekend.”

  Jeffrey laughed. “You think? Honestly, working on the firm stuff looked better than the yard work that has piled up this winter.”

  The office was humming by the time they called it quits. Baylee hurried back to her office. She needed to check in with Tina and John, her paralegal and office manager, before she left for court. However, first she had to open her e-mail. She knew she couldn’t wait until this afternoon to do it.

  Her stomach fluttered as she opened her in box. Scanning the dozen e-mails she immediately saw the one she wanted. GBlackhawk Re: Checking in.

  He hadn’t changed the subject line. She quickly read, wanting to take more time but knowing she didn’t have it.

  Hi, Ummm friends. Now there’s an idea. How do you think it would work long-distance? And don’t worry about how you approached the SUBJECT. Like I said, you got my attention. So, want to start over?

  You have a good day, too.

  Later, Grant.

  Baylee clicked out of her e-mail. She’d have to wait to send a reply. A smile played across her lips at the idea of starting over. Oh yeah, she definitely wanted to start over.

  It was an easy walk to the courthouse, and Baylee forced thoughts of Grant out of her mind and focused on the Jenkins case. She had bad vibes on this one. Against her advice, Cindy had first directed Baylee to file separate maintenance on Joe. Baylee had recommended she go straight for a divorce, but Cindy had held out hope of reconciliation. Now six months into it, Joe’s hot temper had escalated to the point that Cindy wasn’t safe anymore. He had resorted to stalking and making threats of violence.

  Today’s court hearing was for a restraining order. Cindy didn’t need to be there for it, and Baylee had cautioned her to stay away. She had no doubt the judge would grant the order. To add to her certainty, Joe’s attorney supported the order.

  Joe had been deployed to Iraq five times. The problems these soldiers experienced in their domestic lives when they got home had gotten national attention. Baylee felt a surge of anger. Five times. How much were men supposed take and stay sane?

  Not for the first time, she felt thankful for the opposing counsel on this case. Joe Jenkins’s attorney was a seasoned experienced lawyer with integrity, and not one that stirred the pot to drag things out.

  * * * *

  Walking back to the office, Baylee reflected on the day. It hadn’t held any surprises, which always made a good day. Neither of the Jenkins had shown up. Baylee had talked with Joe’s attorney and found out that she was worried about the case, too. Both women hoped that by working together they could defuse the emotions.

  Baylee’s afternoon case had also turned out as predicted. The couple had been married for twenty years. The wife had worked at a menial job to put her husband through college and then stayed home with their two children. She had no training, experience, education, and a husband who had been cheating for a long time. Baylee had done a good job in getting a decent settlement, but how did you claim back the wasted years?

  She shrugged off the tension in her shoulders. The office seemed its normal self, and it felt good to be out of the courtroom circus. Jeffrey stepped out his office and waved a pop can in the air. “How did the day go? Anyone kill anyone?”

  “No, guess that’s a plus. But I tell you, Jeff, I’m beginning to think that there just aren’t any true, honest marriages out there.”

  “Heyyyy, there. Remember me.”

  Baylee sank down in her chair. “I know, and believe me when I say seeing yours and Tracy’s marriage keeps me sane.”

  Jeffrey followed her and leaned against the door jamb. “It takes work, but it’s so worth it.”

  Changing the subject, he continued. “Why don’t I call Tracy and see if she’ll meet us for dinner.”

  He glanced at his watch. “Like say in an hour. All three of us could use an early night. Not that you won’t come back and work, but at least it won’t be straight through.”

  If Jeffrey was surprised at her easy capitulation, he didn’t say anything.

  Mumbling that she wanted to check some things, Baylee turned to her computer. She wanted to e-mail Grant back before she left for dinner. Maybe if she did, he’d send one back to her yet tonight. She opened her e-mail and reread his last post.

  Hitting reply, she typed:

  Hi again, I just got back from court and am on my way back out in a few minutes. And yes, I would love to start over.

  Baylee

  She glanced at the files Tina had laid on her desk. Tomorrow would be another busy day, and she had an appointment with Cindy Jenkins. Her stomach clenched just thinking about the situation Cindy was in. They would need to talk about a safe house for her. Baylee had hoped they could get the divorce final and defuse Joe’s rage before that became necessary, but after talking with Joe’s attorney today, she didn’t feel good about waiting.

  Jeffrey stuck his head in the door. “Ready to leave?”

  Baylee held up her index finger and mouthed, One more minute.

  When she joined him, he said, “I made reservations at Ferrilli’s, but as early as it is, I don’t think we will need them.”

  Ferrilli’s was only four blocks from the office and a favorite of theirs. “Good, if you’ll give me ride down, I can walk back and, save parking.”

  A few minutes later, they walked into the restaurant and found Tracy waiting for them in the foyer. Baylee loved Jeffrey’s wife as much as she loved him. Their two preteen twins were a bonus. They exchanged hugs before following the waiter to a corner table.

  Tracy’s eyes sparkled as she leaned over the table. “Okay, spill it. How did the meeting with your friend in Montana go? Are you really going to do it?”

  Baylee didn’t have a lot of friends, but the ones she had were as close as family. Or in her case, closer than family. She had confided in Tracy that she wanted a baby and was considering artificial insemination. Of course, what Tracy knew, Jeffrey knew.

  “Well I got the facts, and Alicia said I wouldn’t have to use their sperm bank as we have one here that collects from donors that don’t live in the area.” Baylee had been worried about banks using local donors. She didn’t want to run the risk that siblings might meet, and without knowing
it, become attracted to one another. There had been movies on that happening, and even if the odds were against it, why take the chance? She had talked to Tracy about it and shared her concern.

  “Good. That’s one thing down, but you don’t seem as thrilled as I thought you would be, so what’s up? She paused and then snapped her fingers. “You met someone, didn’t you?”

  Baylee laughed. Tracy was way too perceptive. “How do you do that?”

  Tracy shrugged. “You’re just easy to read.”

  “I am not. I’m an attorney, and we are never easy to read.”

  “Hah, so tell us about him.”

  A waiter appeared, and Baylee gave a sigh of relief that said, Saved by the bell. It was short-lived when she caught the gleam in Tracy’s eyes.

  Baylee and Tracy ordered a local chardonnay, and Jeffrey ordered a draft beer. When the waiter left, Baylee put her head down and studied a menu she already knew by heart. How in the world was she going to channel the conversation to safer ground? She stayed glued to the menu until she looked up to see Jeffrey and Tracy had set theirs aside and were patiently waiting for her. Or at least Jeffrey looked patient. Tracy looked like she was ready to leap the minute Baylee lowered the menu.

  “So, did you? Meet someone?”

  “No,” she lied.

  Tracy gave her “the look.” “Okay, then why aren’t you excited about starting a baby? Have you changed your mind?”

  Jeffrey laughed. “Let up, hon. She just got back and had a butt load of work waiting for her.”

  With a sigh, Tracy held up her hands in surrender. “Not that I’m through with you, girlfriend,” she whispered over to Baylee.

  Grabbing the reprieve, Baylee took a breath and redirected the conversation. “How did the weekend go at your parents?”

  “Okay, I need to visit more often. My parents love seeing and spoiling the girls. Next time, I’m going to insist Jeffrey goes with us, though.”