Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) Page 8

  Grant glared back. Stubborn, bullheaded woman.

  They were back to tense, and Grant had to admit she did it very well. Separate rooms would be good. Considering their explosive response to each other, maybe he should have tried for separate floors. As it stood, this weekend looked like it was off to a roaring start.

  Chapter 10

  Grant smiled over at Baylee. She was easy to be with, and he loved to hear her laugh. “Happy?”

  “Yes, the room is beautiful, and the weather is perfect, and changing into walking shoes before heading down to the waterfront was a smart move.”

  A loud blare from the ferry heralded its approach, and they stopped to watch it dock. “Would you like to take a ferry ride tomorrow?”

  At Baylee’s enthusiastic response, they went into the terminal to get a schedule. There was a ferry leaving for the San Juan’s at seven forty-five the next morning.

  Baylee looked up at Grant, disappointment visible on her face. “It’s a twelve-hour round trip. You wanted to spend some time in Seattle.”

  “Do you want to go, or would you rather explore the town?”

  “What do you want to do?”

  Grant laughed. “No fair, I asked you first.”

  “It says it goes via Deception Pass. It should be a beautiful trip.”

  “So, want to do it?”

  When she smiled up at him, Grant felt he would have tried to give her the moon. “I would like to go, but only if it won’t be a dull trip for you.”

  Grant smiled. “Honey, believe me, being with you anywhere is anything but dull.”

  He watched as pink tinged her cheeks. Did women still blush? Apparently so.

  The ticket booth was closed, so they would have to purchase tickets for the trip in the morning. From her e-mails, he knew she was an early riser, so that shouldn’t be a problem.

  The evening turned cool as a slight breeze blew in from the sound. Grant walked on the waterside to try to shield her. A few minutes later they saw a restaurant. Grant motioned toward it. “I’m hungry. How about you, ready to get something to eat and get warm?”

  Baylee readily agreed, and a few minutes later they were seated at a table overlooking the water. Lights reflected on the water from town, making a fairy garden outside their window.

  Baylee ordered white wine to Grant’s Vodka Collins. Sipping it, Grant watched her look over the menu. Was she one of those women who were always on a diet? Somehow he doubted it, and he didn’t know why.

  When she placed an order for the seafood fettuccini, he felt a thrill of recognition of a kindred spirit. So far there had been nothing he didn’t like about Baylee, and some things he downright loved. He quickly double-checked his thinking. Love, not in love.

  Conversation flowed between them. Grant purposely kept it light. There would be plenty of time to delve deeper before the weekend ended. Now was the time to start getting to know each other. The e-mails had helped. He knew that she hated peas, loved broccoli, and worked hard, to the point of being a workaholic. But being together, he had learned more in the past few hours than he had in the past month and a half. Had it really only been a month and a half? It seemed that she’d been in his life forever.

  * * * *

  Baylee watched Grant enjoy his halibut. He ate like he did everything else, with enjoyment and gusto. It made him seem bigger than life. Being with him was fun. A sense of longing surged through her. He seemed so free, so confident, so happy, and so male. It was hard to believe he wasn’t in a relationship, and according to him, he hadn’t been in a meaningful one for years. She knew that he was trying to keep things light, and after the explosive response they’d had at the airport, she appreciated his efforts.

  She pushed her empty plate back, surprised she’d eaten her whole dinner. The portion had been generous. Maybe being outside in all the fresh air gave her an appetite. It had been awhile since she’d been out like this. She used to jog every morning, but things had gotten so busy she hadn’t had the time lately. She made a mental note to change that when she got home.

  Grant glanced over at her. “Want to finish this off with dessert and coffee?”

  “Just coffee. After what I just ate, I’m thinking I’m good for a couple of days.”

  Grant laughed and signaled the waiter. After placing their order, he picked up a spoon and threaded the handle through his fingers. Baylee watched the play of his fingers. He had beautiful hands. Not surprising for a surgeon. She reached over and placed her hand over his. “So tell me, why aren’t you married? Or at least in a relationship?”

  She’d caught him by surprise, if his sharp intake of breath was any indication.

  “You sure you want to go to the next level tonight?”

  She didn’t pretend not to understand him and countered back. “We have so little time. Do you want to waste it on trivia?”

  “Wow counselor, you do cut to the chase. I like that.” Grant leaned back in his chair and waited for the waiter to put their coffee down and leave.

  “Okay, me first but you next.” His voice said that was a promise. She lowered her eyes. He had a way of seeing too much.

  At her nod, he said, “I’ve only been in one that was serious, and that was a long time ago. Sure you want to waste a question on it?”

  Again Baylee nodded, still careful to keep her eyes lowered.

  “We were in residency. That alone should have made a relationship impossible. The hours are grueling. Nevertheless, we managed and moved in together. We even made plans to someday open a joint practice.”

  Grant took a drink of coffee while Baylee silently waited. “The problems started when we realized that the picture of the future I had was completely different from hers. I had visions of Blackhawk, family, and the happily ever after, white-picket-fence scenario.” He raised his hands. “I know, a down-home type of guy.”

  Was that an apology? Didn’t he know that he was the type of guy most women would die for? When he stopped, Baylee prompted him. “What about her visions, Grant? You said that they were different from yours?”

  “Yeah, well she grew up a bit differently and had to work like hell to get where she was. She had student loans and...”

  He ran his hand over his face. “She wanted big city, big money, a fancy condo, and no kids. And like I said, when I knew more about her background, I couldn’t blame her. We struggled along until we got our medical degrees. I don’t know if I would have stayed in Seattle or not, but it was a moot point when she was offered a job in Chicago.”

  He again picked up his spoon then put it down again. “I guess if I’d really cared, I would have gone to Chicago with her, but the truth was I didn’t want to.”

  “And you never tried again? Somehow that doesn’t sound like you.”

  “Yeah, I guess not, but feeling like a fool does that to a guy.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “When she left, she cleaned out the joint checking account we opened to pay the bills. There was ten grand in it. If I’d been a struggling student, it would have been devastating. As it was, I had a harder time accepting that she stole from me than I did the actual loss of the money. In fact, I would have helped her with expenses if she’d only asked.”

  “So that’s why you don’t believe in love anymore?”

  “Well, when you put it like that...I’m not sure. I guess I just never found anyone I cared about enough to risk marriage and divorce and worse, losing children. Remember, we both know the statistics for a successful marriage are pretty dismal. And then there’s Brad.” Grant had told her a little about his friend in the e-mails and phone calls.

  He rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I guess the hardest thing for me to understand is the cheating, lying, and grabbing everything you can get. You’re in this business of...” He raised his hands in mock surrender.

  Baylee knew what Grant was trying to say. The same things bothered her. “You know, there is such a thing as an amicable divorce. I nee
d to remind myself more often that some couples are honest with one another and, more importantly, with themselves.”

  “Yeah, and what would you say the percentage of these are?”

  Baylee laughed. “You got me on that one, maybe 1 percent.”

  He smiled over at her. “And I’ve been to enough weddings that I know they get to this state after they vow to love each other forever in front of witnesses.” He shook his head. “They think they are so much in love that nothing will ever separate them.”

  “I’m not sure I agree.”

  Her words got his attention, and his gaze shot to hers. The intensity in his eyes made her again think he could see into her soul. Her voice lowered. “Oh, I think they are in love. At least with the courtship side of romance. Have you ever wondered how a person can marry like five or six times?”

  “No, guess I never gave it much thought.”

  “Well I see it more times than you can imagine. Marriage isn’t a sacred thing anymore. There’s certainly no social stigma in divorces. To some people, the thrill of someone new or of being the most important person in someone’s life is what they’re looking for. I truly think when they marry they know that it won’t be forever. In fact, I think many of them only intend it to last as long as they’re doted on.”

  She paused, and he prompted her to finish. “I’m sensing you want to say more, so go for it.”

  “I think marriage and divorce to some people is like using abortion for birth control. They do what they want for as long as they want and make sure they have an easy escape route all planned out in advance. Voilà, easy peasy, complete with prenuptials.”

  Grant leaned back in his chair. “Wow, counselor, I’m beginning to wonder about how you work in this environment day in and day out.”

  Baylee laughed. “That is a little heavy. As much as you might find it hard to believe, I don’t usually indulge in this kind of doom and gloom. I do handle adoptions where there is much, much happiness.” Her voice lowered to a whisper. “And love.”

  She got up from the table, signaling she was ready to leave. Turning back, she smiled, again lightening the mood. “And I do estate planning for couples that have been married for decades and are still very much in love. Family law isn’t all about divorce. It’s just that at times it seems like it is.”

  Late spring and early summer weather in Seattle was unpredictable, and tonight proved no exception when it started to sprinkle. Grant took Baylee’s arm and flagged down a passing taxi. Baylee protested that she didn’t mind walking. “It’s only a few blocks, and it’s barely raining.”

  “I already have the cab. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for him losing a fare would you?”

  Again her laugh rang out. Grant was fun to be with. Funny, exciting and, well, she wouldn’t go there just yet.

  A few minutes later, they were at the hotel. Grant paid the taxi and followed her into the lobby. “It’s early. Would you like a night cap?”

  “In the bar?”

  Grant’s breath sucked in, and his voice deepened. “Do you have something else in mind?”

  * * * *

  Baylee was one surprise after another. And he liked it. Liked her. She stood between the bar and the elevator looking uncertain. He’d bet she hadn’t meant her question to come out the way it did. He laughed, letting her off the hook. “Let’s try the bar for now.”

  Baylee took a long sip of her piña colada. “I love the taste of these.” Pushing it toward him, she said, “Here, try it.”

  Grant let his eyes wander over lips that glistened with moisture from her drink. He wanted to taste a lot more than the drink she offered.

  He placed his lips over the straw that had just left hers and sucked. Sweet, fruity taste filled his mouth, and he fought to keep his eyes from drifting closed.

  “Good?”

  “Very good, though a little sweet for me.” Grant struggled to get out of the sensual emotion flooding through him.

  He opened the conversation with the words she’d used on him earlier. “So how about you, why aren’t you married or in a relationship?”

  Like him, she reacted to the abruptness of the question. Her voice hesitated but then, like the champ he was beginning to know she was, she mimicked his response to her earlier question. “Wow, doctor, you sure cut to the chase.”

  He laughed, and she joined him. The mood lightened, and Grant felt like. Damn, he wasn’t sure how he did feel. But one thing he was sure of, he felt something with Baylee he’d never felt before. “So, why is it you want a family but not a husband?”

  As soon as the question left his mouth, he regretted it. Did he want to know about a lost love, someone that she’d never forget?

  Baylee looked over at him and straightened her shoulders. “I didn’t know my father. I’m not sure my mother would have known herself except for the fact that I show a Native American heritage, and there was only one guy in the group who it could have been.”

  She took another long swallow of her drink and leaned back in what looked like an effort to relax. Was this going to be painful? It sure looked like it, and he almost told her it was okay. He didn’t need to know. They could start with right now. No past and maybe no future, just now. At the thought of no future, he clamped his mouth shut.

  “Anyway, mom is one of those women I was talking about earlier. Married six times, with an easy-in, easy-out attitude. In between the men she would remember me, but only until the next man entered her life.”

  Grant reached across the table, but Baylee waved her hand in dismissal. “Don’t go feeling sorry for me, if that’s where you’re going.”

  Grant didn’t know what to say, so he took another sip of his drink and again kept his mouth shut.

  She shrugged. “Anyway, after one of her boyfriends stumbled into my room in the middle of the night, I decided that I’d had enough and packed my bags. I was seventeen and just graduated high school. I had a job, so the plan was to keep it while going to college. Being on my own versus living with mom really didn’t matter since she wouldn’t or couldn’t help me. She always needed money, so staying with her would have been only marginally cheaper than being on my own.”

  Grant tried to hide his reaction to her story. In his world, it was inconceivable. Family was everything. He knew that he hadn’t done a very good job in hiding his reaction to her words when she shrugged and said, “Come on, Grant. There’s a whole world out there that you don’t know anything about.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And you’re lucky you don’t.”

  She paused and looked at him. He picked up his drink and felt surprised when his hand shook. She reached over and covered his free hand with hers. Her voice lowered. “It really is okay. I did fine.”

  She’d warned him to not feel sorry for her, but how in the hell did he manage that? Working her way through school was one thing. Most people did it to one degree or the other, but to be raised with a mother that didn’t take care of her was, in his mind, downright abusive. His thoughts flashed to his own mother, who would have walked through fire for him then and still would.

  Keeping his body language turned off, he searched for words to respond to her. Carefully keeping his voice low, he said, “Seventeen, that’s pretty young to graduate.”

  “Yeah, I took extra classes and even enrolled in head start, a college-credit program. I got my law degree at twenty-two.”

  “I’m major impressed. So I’m asking a question no guy ever asks. How old are you?”

  Baylee’s laugh sounded light and tingly. Grant liked the sound. It made him feel happy. He breathed in her scent. She smelled of fresh air and sunshine. They’d chosen a round booth and were sitting together in back, facing out into the room. There weren’t very many people in the bar, and they were sitting up at the counter, which was giving them a lot more privacy than they had expected to have.

  Baylee took him by surprise when she leaned into him. “I like you. Really like you. I like your openness and the direct wa
y you ask questions. You’re honest, and you don’t play games. And for that I’m going to reward you. I’m twenty-eight, or I will be in another month.”

  Grants heart picked up it’s pace, and he put his arms around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. When she tilted her head to look up at him, he lowered his mouth to hers. Almost immediately she melted against him, and he deepened the kiss. He fought to keep from running his hands over her soft curves. Thankfully some part of his brain still functioned, warning him to not start something he couldn’t finish. Instead, he cupped her face in his hand and breathed a response. “I like you, too, and right now I’m thinking maybe more than is good for a first date.”

  Baylee pulled back enough to rest her forehead against his. “Where are we going, Grant? You say ‘first date’ like there’s going to be more, but we live so far from each other.”

  He slid his arm around her shoulders again and picked up his drink. “I know, and I’m not sure I want to go back to e-mails.”

  “We could start phoning again.”

  “Is that what you want? How well do we need to know each other’s pasts to start a...” He couldn’t get the word ‘future’ out.

  She seemed to sense his hesitation and for a minute rested against him. When she pulled away, she slid toward the end of the booth.

  Grant didn’t like the distance. It felt too much like when he sent her an e-mail knowing he wouldn’t hear from her until the next day. It couldn’t be a lonely feeling. Not that he was sure he’d recognize it. Growing up with three brothers and plenty of friends, lonely hadn’t been in his vocabulary. Besides, this felt more like empty. Like something was missing.

  So okay, just what was it. Not love, maybe want. Was this all about libido? No, what he felt for this woman was more than sex. He ran his hand over his face and glanced over at her. She looked as confused as he felt.

  He reached out and took her hand, noticing for the first time that she didn’t have the wedding ring she’d had on when she’d come to Montana. “So do you want to go back to e-mailing or phoning each other?”