Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) Read online

  When her head hit the pillow, it felt like the world receded. She went from too tired to think or to feel, to alert when a second later, the phone rang. She willed herself to let it ring. One ring, two, three rings. She felt her pulse speed up. On the fourth ring, she grabbed the phone. Her voice sounded low even to her own ears when she mumbled, “Hello.”

  He laughed, and her pulse moved up another notch. “What are you doing?”

  “What do you think I’m doing?”

  She could hear the smile in his voice. “I purposely waited, hoping I’d catch you in bed.”

  “Another few minutes and I’d have been asleep. What about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “Where are you at, and if you tell me you’re at your desk I’m not going to believe you.”

  “If not at my desk, where do you picture me at?”

  She smiled as a picture of him lying in bed filled her mind. Without a shirt, the sheet down to his waist. Imagination had her seeing lower, seeing naked, and seeing need. She let out the breath she’d been holding.

  His voice intruded, breaking the image. “We’ve got to stop. You’re killing me here.” The line went silent for a few seconds then he said, “So how did the day go? Did you get that case you were worried about resolved?”

  Baylee’s heart skipped a beat. He’d actually remembered the case and cared. He just kept surprising her in all the right ways.

  Baylee plumped her pillow and leaned back, trying to follow him away from the precipice they’d been heading for. “No, the ex’s attorney had a medical emergency. She will be out of the game for a couple of weeks.” She filled him in, ending with Cindy being safely away. “At least for now.”

  The teasing was out of his voice when he said, “For now? What about the ex? Will he come to you looking for her?”

  “I don’t think so, but we have security and...”

  His voice changed pitch. She surprised herself when she could sense his displeasure over the miles separating them. “It sounds like he’s psychotic and dangerous. I’ve seen a few like this, and security? Well, for these types it isn’t the deterrent it should be.”

  “I can’t hide away, and there’s a good chance with Cindy being out of sight, he’ll get his life in perspective.”

  “And there’s a good chance he won’t. Why don’t you take a couple of weeks off and come stay with me.”

  She choked back a laugh. “You know that isn’t an option. You have work and the new house, and I’ve got things here. Besides, what would I do all day out in the back of beyond?”

  Again she could hear the smile in his voice. “You could nap during the day so you’d be rested for the night.”

  She bit her lower lip at the thought. When she didn’t say anything, he went on. “You could help me with the house. I need to select cabinets, counters, flooring...”

  She heard him take a deep breath, and then his voice deepened. “You wouldn’t be bored, Baylee. I’d...” His voice tapered off, letting her imagination take over again. So much for talking about work.

  “You could come here.” She held her breath again, waiting.

  “I’ve been thinking about it.”

  She echoed his words back to him. “You wouldn’t be bored.”

  Silence, she felt the physical awareness return, though in truth, it hadn’t really fully left. His voice came back in a deep growl. “What in the hell are we doing?”

  “I don’t know. I never thought I’d do casual sex. I...”

  This time he did growl. It came across the phone line and into her bedroom. “Casual sex? Is that what you think happened with us?”

  “I don’t know, I’ve never...”

  “Don’t give me that bullshit, Baylee. You know. And now you need to decide where you want to go from here. Because if it’s just sex, we can both get that, and a hell of lot closer to home.”

  A few seconds later, they said a terse good-night, and Baylee slowly hung up the phone. Why had she said those things? She didn’t blame Grant for being angry. And he’d been right. What they had went a lot further than just sex.

  What they’d had. Past tense? A shadow moved over her at the thought. She turned into her pillow, letting the tears flow.

  Baylee woke up to the alarm going off and rolled over. Her eyes felt gritty. Well why not, she’d cried herself to sleep. If this is what having a relationship is like, I’m not going there.

  The shower felt good, and after a cup of coffee, she felt almost human. She poured another cup and took it back to her office. It would be almost an hour before her day officially began, and it promised to be a busy one with appointments scheduled all day. And all the cases were divorces. How did so many people make mistakes in picking a partner? Even as she thought it, she knew the answer. A lot of people didn’t look for a life partner. They only thought about instant gratification. In today’s throwaway society, it was all too easy to dump one person and grab another.

  She thought of some of the biggest fights. Child support, custody, and visitation topped the list and that she understood. It was the things like the dog and cat, though even those she begrudgingly understood. It didn’t mean that she agreed, but she could see the emotion in their reactions. No, the thing that was so tragic was when they fought about a bed, a sofa, or a ring. She still smiled over the fight about who got the wedding dress. Geez, like the guy could wear it?

  As sad as it all was, the divorce rate kept her bank account healthy. Parties spent more in attorney fees than it would take them to replace a disputed item.

  * * * *

  Baylee kept busy as the days flew by, and Grant didn’t call. Their last phone call hadn’t ended well.

  The first night, she’d expected a call or at least an e-mail. The second night, she’d worried that something had happened to keep him from contacting her. The third night, she’d toyed with the idea of calling him but couldn’t make herself do it. By Thursday, she knew it was over, and intense loneliness settled around her like a thick fog.

  She mourned for a day and plowed through the house, cleaning it from top to bottom. By nightfall she was exhausted but ready to pull herself together. She vowed to herself that she would damn well work through the loss she was feeling. And accelerating the search for a house was as good a way as any. She’d contacted a real estate agent to help her, but so far hadn’t gotten beyond eliminating prospective properties online. Baylee knew what she didn’t want and hoped she’d know what she did when she saw it. Again, the meadow with a home that seemed to rise out of the ground as if it were a part of nature, filled her vision. Baylee shook her head to clear it. I am not going there.

  Friday afternoon finally called a close to the week, and she gave a thankful sigh when the last client for the day left her office. The week had been routine. Too routine. Baylee stared at the stack of files on her desk. The challenge had all but disappeared, replaced by the depressing realism of divorce law. Was this really what she wanted to spend the rest of her career doing?

  She rubbed her temples. When had she become so disillusioned with her own life? Jeffrey’s worried look had been in place all week, and he’d mentioned twice now that maybe she needed a vacation.

  She had been holding off, hoping she’d find a house, and then she could take off time to decorate and move. She didn’t have enough furniture to furnish a house, so she’d need to shop, too. That alone should have held excitement, so why didn’t it?

  One more chore and the weekend was hers. She knocked on Jeffrey’s open door. “I’ve got to run to the courthouse and file some cases. Do you have anything you want done or need from there?”

  Jeffrey nodded and handed her some folders. “If you could put these in with yours to file, I’d appreciate it.”

  He pushed away from the desk and stretched. “Long week. Tracy’s planning a barbeque tomorrow afternoon and asked me to invite you. Not that you need an invitation to drop over. It’s been a while.”

  It had been a while. The gir
ls were growing up, and she missed seeing them. Maybe she should consider moving in their area and get used to the commute. “I can’t, though I’d love to. I have an appointment to look at houses. I’ve been using the Internet, but the realtor is losing patience and wants me to see a list she’s made up, so...” She spread her arms out.

  Jeffrey laughed. “I don’t envy you, my friend. If you get done house shopping, run on out. It doesn’t matter what time. Actually, it might be nice to have the barbeque over so we can just kick back, eat leftovers, and have a beer. Or two.”

  Baylee smiled. “You’ll probably be gone before I get back. I’ll try to get out to your place and take you up on the beer.” A few minutes later she was out the door. She liked to walk down to the courthouse, but today she’d decided to drive. When she finally found a parking spot and stepped out of the car, she sighed in relief. The cool marine air drifted up from the wharf. She took a deep breath. San Francisco was a wonderful part of the world and, until very recently, it had been hers. Now she felt like an alien in it. She shrugged off the melancholy. That would change when she bought her new house. She refused to think her feelings were because of Grant. No, selling her house and moving to a yet unknown place, were the culprits. Not any feelings she had for him.

  The filing done, Baylee dug her cell phone out and called her beautician. With any luck, she would be able take her on short notice. She’d always worn her hair extremely short, but since her Christmas visit to Montana, she had let it grow. Again she refused to acknowledge that Grant had anything to do with it. At any rate, it now desperately needed a trim, or maybe she’d get it cut short again?

  Debbie, her hairstylist, said she had a cancellation if she could come right away. The salon was just a few blocks, and Baylee could easily walk. In a hurry, she didn’t pay attention to the man following close behind her until she got to the beauty salon and caught his reflection in the door.

  Joe Perkins. Baylee sucked in her breath. Fear laced through her, and she fought the urge to run. He had to have followed her. She hesitated, unsure what to do. Should she turn and confront him? Undecided, she pushed the door open and stepped into the busy salon. Debbie cheerfully greeted her, and Baylee gave herself a mental shake. If she didn’t watch it, she’d be paranoid. Maybe it was only a coincidence. He’d probably seen her come out of the courthouse and followed her on a whim.

  “So are we leaving it long, or are you going back to short-short?”

  Baylee glanced out the window and saw no sign of Cindy’s soon-to-be ex-husband. She settled herself in the chair, took a deep breath to calm nerves that were jangling in her ears like a set of cymbals, and took a look at her reflection. She sort of liked her hair longer. It emphasized her cheekbones and made her eyes look larger. Still, shorter was easier. “What do you think?”

  Debbie secured the drop cover and smiled into the mirror. “I think we should just trim it. This style is good for you, makes you appear exotic.”

  Baylee nodded. “Exotic? You’re fantasizing again. But okay, I can always come back and get it cut if I change my mind.”

  “Yep, so what’s happening in your world? Meet any hot, sexy divorcee’s?”

  They quipped back and forth, and by the time Debbie finished with her, Baylee had all but forgotten about Joe Perkins. And she had managed to get through Debbie’s quizzing without telling her about Grant.

  Paranoid or not, Baylee decided to call for an escort to her car. When the officer arrived, she briefly filled him in on her concerns. An older, fatherly type man, he assured her she’d made a good decision. “I’ve been working the courthouse beat for many years, and it’s good to be cautious. These domestic disputes have a way of escalating.”

  The officer introduced himself as Bob Matthews and kept a conversation going as they walked along. He told her he only had a few months until retirement and entertained her with stories of how he intended spending it.

  When they got to her car, the officer opened the door and waited for her to start it. She let the window down. “Thank you. I’m sorry I wasted your time, but I enjoyed the walk.”

  He smiled. “Not a problem. If you see the guy again don’t hesitate to call 911.”

  Since Baylee had her car she decided to drive over the Golden Gate Bridge and stop at one of her favorite seafood restaurants. In all the years she’d been alone, she’d never gotten used to dining out by herself. However, the thought of another frozen entrée made it seem the better of the two evils. Again she felt the overwhelming want for a family.

  Luckily, there was a table by the window available, and she could watch the sunset over the bay as she ate. Finishing her meal, she resolved that tomorrow she’d really concentrate on finding a house to make into a home. But first she had to get through the night.

  She’d all but forgotten about the scare of seeing Joe Perkins by the time she got home. It was probably nothing more than a coincidence that he’d been walking behind her when she left the courthouse. Still, it was easy to relate to the fears Cindy experienced. The world could be a scary place, especially for a woman all alone.

  Baylee chastised herself for her thoughts. She was stronger than this. Self-pity. No way. This has to stop. I have to get control.

  Now if only her body would listen. It still ached for the remembered touches. A glass of wine and a long bath would ease the ache. Or would it?

  Chapter 16

  Grant’s heart raced as he quietly shut his car door and made his way to the private entrance that was toward the back of the building that housed the Gallagher and Parker Law Firm. The name had a nice ring, though his wolf growled in disagreement. Grant accepted the wolf’s more primal reaction, though it was sometimes hard to be a modern man with this other side asserting itself.

  A glance at his watch had him frowning. Nine o’clock, late for an unannounced visit, but the alternative would be to get a room for the night, and that idea didn’t sit well.

  He pushed the bell and waited. When no one came, he pushed it again. Her car was sitting next to his, so unless she was out with someone? He tensed when a very angry wolf again made itself known. Tamping down his inner totem, he reached for the bell again. Before he could push it, the door opened. She hesitated, and his heart felt like it hit his shoes. Before he could say anything, Baylee hurled herself into his arms. Suddenly, he had his hands full of a lot of woman. If his heart had raced before, now it was flying.

  Before he had time to catch a breath, she pulled away. “Grant! I’m sorry. I should have...I don’t know what made me react like...you probably think...”

  His mouth came down, silencing her. She smelled fresh, tasted delicious, and felt hot. He growled as he deepened the kiss. Breathing hard, he ground out his words. “Let’s get inside, and don’t you dare be sorry for coming to me like this. If I had any doubts about us or about where we’re going, you not only erased them, you buried them.”

  He’d said more than he thought possible with the emotions that were surging through him. After over a week of not contacting her, he’d expected to do a lot of groveling. This reaction was, well, to say unexpected would be more than an understatement. Magic, surreal, or whatever it was, he wasn’t going to question it.

  He kicked the door shut behind them and found himself in a small enclosed stairwell. A door at the top gave him a glimpse of her apartment. As aroused as he was, the stairs looked like they were a mile high. He bent to again take her mouth and smiled when she melted against and into him.

  She was damp from a shower or bath, and it felt like she’d just pulled on a pair of sweats. He took a breath, willing himself and the wolf in him to slow down. With a feral growl, he stepped back, but when he saw her eyes, he sucked in his breath. She was his match in every way. She might not understand, and maybe never would. Hell, he didn’t entirely understand it himself, but he knew. He knew that fate had given him his life mate, or in the human vernacular, his soul mate.

  He pulled back and took her hand, leading the way upstairs
. He stepped into the apartment and smiled down at her. He needed to get control before he gave way to the intense need surging through him. Again, he marveled at her acceptance of him. The way he’d cut off contact—hell, most women would have thrown him out on his ear. But again, Baylee wasn’t like most women.

  She wrapped her arms around his waist and looked up at him. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you came. I thought maybe you’d decide to move on.”

  His eyes held hers. “I don’t think I could stay away from you.”

  She traced his lips with her fingers. “I’m glad.”

  She pulled away, and he reluctantly let her go. She led the way into a small living room. Even through the sexual haze, his heightened senses noticed the comfortable sofa and chair in rich, brown leather. Then the room dimmed as the sound of her voice penetrated through his senses.

  “Grant? Can I get you something to drink?”

  He struggled for control and again tamped down his desire to carry her to the bedroom. His voice vibrated, low and deep. “Oh, um, anything you have handy will do.”

  She nodded. “Make yourself comfortable. How about an imported beer?

  His pulse was returning to normal. A good thing. “Yeah, no glass, just the bottle.”

  He took the end of the couch, and she chose the chair. It was too far, but when he went to reach for her to pull her over beside him, he had second thoughts.

  He twisted the cap off his beer and leaned forward. “We need to talk. It’s been a hell of a week.”

  He took a long pull from his beer and rested his head against the back of the sofa. His heightened sense of hearing picked up Baylee’s heart and heard it speed up. If he hadn’t already known she felt the same way he did, it would have given her away. He clamped his jaw tight in an effort to keep his emotions in check, but when she didn’t break the silence filling the room, he slowly rose from his seat and took her hand, pulling her up against his hard length.