Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) Read online

  Blackhawk Brothers 2

  Choose to Love

  Baylee Gallagher is a successful attorney in San Francisco. She's met her career goals and now she's ready to start a family. And, she has specific criteria for that family. Namely a baby, but no husband. She's set to use a sperm bank until she sees Doctor Grant Blackhawk. He's perfect, and in her direct way she decides to just ask him to father her baby. With no prior warning she arranges to meet him.

  Dr. Grant Blackhawk is blindsided when Baylee propositions him. He's against single parenting by choice. He doesn't see her request as a compliment and makes it crystal clear. So why can't he get her out of his mind? Long after she is back in San Francisco, she is still haunting his dreams. Adding to his torment is the fact that the totem he denies exists is asserting itself. Its surreal instincts know Baylee is Grant's mate, or in the pure human vernacular, his soul mate.

  Genre: Contemporary

  Length: 54,924 words

  CHOOSE TO LOVE

  Blackhawk Brothers 2

  Lavada Dee

  ROMANCE

  www.BookStrand.com

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  A SIREN-BOOKSTRAND TITLE

  IMPRINT: Romance

  CHOOSE TO LOVE

  Copyright © 2012 by Lavada Dee

  E-book ISBN: 978-1-61926-773-2

  First E-book Publication: August 2012

  Cover design by Jinger Heaston

  All cover art and logo copyright © 2012 by Siren Publishing, Inc.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission.

  All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

  PUBLISHER

  www.BookStrand.com

  DEDICATION

  To Jack and our family who support and motivate me.

  CHOOSE TO LOVE

  Blackhawk Brothers 2

  LAVADA DEE

  Copyright © 2012

  Chapter 1

  Baylee Gallagher stepped out of the car and drew in a deep breath. The smell of spring filled the air. She hoped the weather signaled a portent. She needed the good omen because what she was about to do was insane. Even so, it felt more right than anything else in her life. She breathed in the crisp air and asked the quiet breeze to carry her wishes forward and pave the way for her. Everything hinged on this first meeting. After all, Dr. Grant Blackhawk was going to father her baby. Or not.

  Her heart pounded in anticipation of what she intended to do. Baylee didn’t know the doctor and hadn’t even spoken to him until she’d called him the day before. With renewed resolve, she took another deep breath and straightened her shoulders.

  Again she caught the fragrant scent of the woods. Following a wide trail, the vision of the man she’d seen across the hospital when she’d visited her doctor friend during the holidays was lodged in her mind. If only he wasn’t so perfect. Every time Baylee thought about a baby of her own, Doctor Blackhawk’s image would pop in front of her. If she believed in love, Baylee would have chalked it up to ‘love at first sight.’ Hah, that would be delusional because she didn’t do ‘love.’

  Over the last five months she’d played different scenarios in her mind. At first she’d planned to seduce him, and she’d entertained that choice for a long time. Baylee bit her lip. Seducing Dr. Blackhawk would definitely be... uh, stimulating.

  Even though the thought brought her blood pressure up, in the end she just couldn’t do it. When she had made up her mind to go through with having a baby as a single mother, she’d decided to go with a direct, honest approach. In the beginning, that had entailed using a sperm bank.

  A screech from what she hoped was a bird startled her. Darn, Indian heritage be danged, she wasn’t the outdoor type. Why couldn’t he have agreed to meet her at his office or even a restaurant? Though on second thought she’d bet they would both be glad for more privacy once she made her proposition.

  She could hear what sounded like maybe wood chopping. Did people really do that anymore? And why would they want to when there were gas fireplaces? Wood was messy and smelly and hard work. Another screech made her pick up the pace. It was already five o’clock. What time did it get dark out here in the back of beyond?

  The trail, she wasn’t going to call it a road, crested at small hill, and she could see the lake. For a minute she forgot the dense forest that surrounded her, forgot how far she was away from civilization, and even forgot why she’d come here. The view in front of her was breathtakingly beautiful. The water looked like a dark mirror that reflected the forest surrounding it. The bird cried again and jolted her back to reality.

  An image of Grant Blackhawk transposed itself over the lake. There was no doubt in her mind that he was on the other end of the ax that was chopping the wood. Tall, he would tower over her five-foot-eight figure. Dark, he wore his hair longer than she’d expect a doctor to wear it, but on him, it was a look that completed and emphasized his masculinity. She’d bet anything he shared American-Indian heritage with her. His bronze skin and dark eyes testified to it. All in all, he was exactly what she wanted for her baby. Physically, he was perfect. Throw in that he was a doctor, and from what she’d seen that day at the hospital, he was compassionate. Not that she thought compassion was passed through the gene pool.

  She felt a twinge of guilt. What would she contribute to her baby?

  Physical appearance? Check.

  Intelligence? Check.

  That was it. She wouldn’t contribute family, and she didn’t want that from Grant Blackhawk, either. She hadn’t made up her mind if she even wanted her mother in her baby’s life.

  Baylee slowed down to listen. She couldn’t hear the chopping noise anymore. She had been so deep in thought she had missed it when it stopped. A glance at her watched confirmed that she was almost an hour late. She wouldn’t have been surprised to find Doctor Blackhawk had given up on her. He probably would have if he hadn’t been working on the wood. She couldn’t imagine him sitting around waiting. Plus he hadn’t been very receptive to meeting her in the first place. Of course he didn’t know her, and she couldn’t very well tell him the nature of her visit over the phone.

  The trail opened to a little meadow that stretched from the dense forest down to the lake. The
sun was starting to set and made a beautiful sunset, casting a glow of pinks and purples over the end of the lake. As she stepped out into the open she saw the man lift his head and look at her.

  She drew in a sharp breath. She could feel him as his gaze traveled over her. It felt like he touched her and yet he wasn’t even close. Not taking his eyes off her, he grabbed a shirt off a stump. Sweat glistened off his bare chest. She was in trouble. He was more man than she remembered. She backed up a step and tripped. One minute she was falling, and the next, she was pressed against him. How in the world had he gotten to her so fast?

  His voice sounded like a growl. “Ms. Gallagher.”

  Her voice sounded weak when she managed a “yes”. She pulled herself away and tried again. “Yes, I’m sorry I’m so late. I had trouble at the car rental.”

  He swiped his headband off and wiped his face. Stuffing it in his back pocket, he pulled on his shirt.

  Baylee looked away, but not before she noticed how well the black T-shirt molded to his body and drew attention to his coloring. He didn’t look anything like he’d looked at the clinic. That day, he’d had on a white clinic coat, and the bright lights had made him look like what, more of a doctor? She fought the urge to again step back.

  He didn’t seem aware of her reaction to him, but she wouldn’t bet on it. He turned and walked toward the lake where a cooler sat. Twisting off the cap of a water bottle, he held it out to her.

  Not trusting her voice, she shook her head. She forced herself to look away when he tilted the bottle and took a long drink. His lips were full. She swallowed as heat pooled low and intense.

  His tone held impatience. “So are we going to stand around staring at each other, or do you want to tell me what this is all about?”

  A big black truck was parked down by where he’d come out of the woods, and her eyes swung toward it. It would be easier if they weren’t just standing out in the open like this. She crossed her arms over her chest. On sensory overload, she felt exposed.

  Baylee glanced toward the woods. Night sounds were getting louder. Motioning toward the truck, she stated the obvious. “It’s getting dark. Let me help you load your truck while we talk.”

  His eyes moved down her body as if assessing if she’d be any help, and she bristled when he smiled like he’d already dismissed her assistance.

  “Don’t worry about it. No one will bother my things if I leave them out here.”

  Hoping to ease into the reason she’d called him, she let her gaze roam over the meadow.

  He turned away and started toward the truck. “It’s getting a little chilly. I’ve got an extra jacket if you need it.”

  “No, I’m okay.” She plucked at the sleeve of her sweatshirt. “This was too warm for a while, but it feels good now.”

  Baylee cleared her throat. She needed to get with it. She wasn’t sure how he would react if she started discussing the weather. “The reason I called you is that I saw you over the holidays when I was visiting a friend at the clinic. I went to school with Alicia.”

  He nodded. His next words told her he’d noticed her that day, too. “So you weren’t there for a medical appointment then?”

  “No.”

  His eyes went to her left hand and the wedding band she wore. When he raised his eyes, his gaze held hers. It was so strong that she felt like he held her head between his hands. “I’m not married. I wear this for professional reasons.” Not being completely honest, she winced when he smiled. He knew. It was like he sensed that she didn’t usually encourage advances from men.

  His gaze again found hers and held it. She glanced away and tried again. “I was visiting my mother in Missoula for Christmas. We’re not close.” Now why did I say that? It’s not relevant. Darn, the man had her flustered, and Baylee Gallagher didn’t do flustered. She’d taken on a lot better than this in the courtroom and held her poise.

  She straightened her shoulders. This wouldn’t do. She needed to keep control and show strength. She didn’t feel physical attraction… ever. “Yes, well the fact is I went to see Alicia about artificial insemination.”

  The screech sounded from the woods again. The breeze had turned from cool to cold. The man didn’t say anything nor did he look away.

  When Baylee didn’t say more, he wrenched open the truck door and leaned against the seat.

  Where did she go from here? She wanted to just stop, but then she would have no chance to convince this man to contribute his sperm. If she’d never seen him, she would have been content to pick a donor from the sperm bank. Now she wanted Grant Blackhawk.

  He held up his hand. “I don’t like where this is going. First, you’re so nervous you look like you’re about to fly off. Second, if it was medical advice you wanted, you’d have made an appointment at the clinic. Are you really sure you want to continue this conversation?”

  Baylee swallowed. “I want a baby.”

  He interrupted her. “Let me guess. A baby but no man, right?”

  She nodded. “I’m an attorney and can well afford to support a family. The baby would have every opportunity.”

  “Except no father.”

  “Yes, well I’ve found fathers overrated.”

  “Let me guess again. You’re a divorce lawyer.”

  She laughed, but it came up short. “You’re good. I’ve represented both parties, and seeing what these once loving couples do to one another, I’d be a fool to venture into a relationship. In short, Doctor Blackhawk, I don’t believe in love. People, by nature, enter relationships for what they can get. This bull hockey of loving someone and wanting to make them happy is just that, bull hockey.”

  Grant let out a low whistle. “Wow! Bull hockey! And what did I do to deserve all this?”

  Baylee felt her cheeks grow hot. Her dark complexion usually saved her from blushing or at least from any one seeing it. To make matters worse, when his gaze traveled over her again, she knew he’d noticed her heightened color. “I’m sorry. This is hard to explain. It certainly isn’t a subject for casual company.”

  “No, it isn’t. So why don’t you get to the point, Ms. Gallagher.”

  She didn’t correct his use of her last name. It was better not to be on a first-name basis. This way, it would be less intimate. She shook her head. Less intimate, how did that work? Climb into bed, have sex, get up, and say, “Thank you, Doctor Blackhawk.” And he’d answer, “My pleasure Ms. Gallagher.”

  “Okay, I know it’s getting late, and I’m sorry. Like I said, I’d intended to be here earlier.”

  He’d been leaning against the seat of the truck. Now he pointed toward the other side. “Get in. It’s getting too cold to stand out here.”

  When the doors closed, she knew that she’d made another mistake. The cab of the truck filled with intimacy so thick it felt like she could slice it.

  He shifted so he was angled toward her. They weren’t touching, and yet, like before in the meadow, she could feel him. She swallowed. She didn’t want to sound desperate. He was a doctor, so he should be able to look at the procedure clinically. “This isn’t easy for me. I guess the best way is too just ask.”

  He smiled and perfect white teeth gleamed in the dusk. Again, he didn’t say anything. Did he think this was amusing?

  “Like I said, I’m an attorney. I own a firm in San Francisco. I had intended to use the sperm bank, but when I saw you, I knew you would be perfect.” She was speaking too fast. She’d practiced what she was going to say, but she couldn’t remember half of it. The last thing that she wanted was to ramble. Maybe it would have been better to do this over the phone.

  She took a deep breath. “When I talked to Alicia, she explained the procedure. It wouldn’t take very much of your time…”

  He glared over at her. It looked like she’d finally gotten a reaction. That was good, now they could move it along. “If you’d rather not used artificial insemination, I’m open to other options.”

  God, it sounded like he growled. “Like we could
go to my room…”

  “What in the hell do you take me for? Or am I missing something here? You want me, what, to service you? Should I be flattered?”

  “You don’t have to be so crude.”

  “Oh, what do you suggest, a nice polite conversation on the subject of breeding?”

  “Doctor Blackhawk, I thought that since you’re a doctor you could look at this objectively.”

  “Ms. Gallagher, let me remind you that I’m also a man. And contrary to what you might think, I don’t find your proposition appealing.”

  When she opened her mouth to respond, he held up his hand. “Not that I’m opposed to casual sex. Quite the contrary. But casual breeding, that’s another story. First, I don’t support the idea of single mothers and artificial insemination. A married couple having difficulty conceiving is different. Second, I have no intention of fathering a child and not taking responsibility for it. I don’t even agree with children being born out of wedlock. For me, it’s the whole thing or no thing.”

  For a minute Baylee was speechless. Good heavens, had she stepped back in time? She certainly hadn’t expected these old-fashioned ideas. “By that I take it you mean marriage?”

  “Right.”

  “Well that is absurd. I have no intention of leaving my practice and…”

  “Whoa, I wasn’t proposing. And, I’m not interested.”

  The look he shot her made her draw back against the door. Her heart pounded in her throat. What had she gotten into? She was out in the woods, in the dark, with a man that no longer looked all that civilized. Certainly not like the doctor she’d seen in the clinic.

  He twisted the key, and the truck roared to life. She had to hang on as it jumped over ruts on its way to the trail.